Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Kate Winslet, Knife Wielder?


Kate Winslet has said that if anybody ever accuses her of being a bad mother, she will go after that anybody with a knife. The actress was quoted as saying, "People can throw anything they want at me, and be as mean as they like. But don't mess with me as a mother, because I will get out a knife and come after you!"

She's kind of crazy, folks. But, she's definitely a terrific mother (don't stab me).

Link: Source.

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Clint Eastwood Doesn't Like Paris Hilton

Clint Eastwood recently got onto Paris Hilton's case because he doesn't think that she should be famous. He was quoted as saying, "When I was young, movie stars who were celebrities were just a handful. Now everybody is a star so you have to make superstars. Stars are just heiresses, like Paris Hilton."

It should also be noted that when Eastwood was young, the earth's crust was just starting to cool, so you can expect a thrilling expose of how the earth is changing in Clint's next meeting with the press.

Link: Source.

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe Have Separated

Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon have agreed to formally separate. The couple have two children, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3. Reese had raised eyebrows about the soundness of her marriage when she told Oprah, "In what capacity is working on yourself or your marriage a bad thing?" The separation comes after seven years of marriage.

Or, as many people will look at it, both Ryan and Reese are again back on the market.

Link: Source.

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Tom and Katie to Wed in Mussolini's Hide-Out

Despite being told that a hotel was a hiding place for Benito Mussolini in the last days of World War II, Katie Holmes has opted to have her wedding at that site.

What can they say? Hiding is a big part of this couple's relationship, so why not remember it in the place that they get married?

Link: Source.

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David Letterman a Name Caller

Prior to having conservative Bill O'Reilly on his late night show, David Letterman hoped that he would have the opportunity to call O'Reilly a bonehead. Later, when O'Reilly made a statement about how Americans would rather watch escapist entertainment than know about the war, and then proceeded to ask Letterman if he would be appearing on "Dancing with the Stars," Letterman chuckled, and said, "You bonehead."

So, Letterman got his wish. I also find it interesting that although Bill O'Reilly said that Letterman and O'Reilly were in fact friends, Letterman never confirmed that fact.

Link: Source.

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David Hasselhoff Wants to Record with P-Diddy

From the "Hey, let's say ridiculous things for publicity files," Baywatch star David Hasselhoff has said that he would like to record a song with Jay-Z and Diddy. The actor/singer said, "I'm thinking of hooking up with Jay-Z and Diddy. I reckon a rap would be great in one of my songs."

"I reckon"? I don't care if he's bigger than I am, if I ever see this man, I'm going to punch him in the face for his stupidity. Somehow, I suspect the two artists named above will do the same thing.

Link: Source.

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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Jessica Simpson Flirts Online

Jessica Simpson is said to be spending much of her free time flirting on e-dating sites. The actress claims that she was lonely after splitting from singer John Mayer, and so she set up an anonymous Myspace page. She liked the anonymity so much, that she now spends time at different dating sites pretending to be a shy Texas girl.

So there you go, folks. For all of you who spend time at dating sites, you might just end up with Jessica Simpson. Of course, it's much more likely that you'll end up with someone named Mertyl who only has three teeth left, but there is a chance that you'll end up with Jessica.

Link: Source.

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Michael J Fox Accused of Faking

Rush Limbaugh recently commented on air that he thought that Michael J. Fox was faking his Parkinson's Disease in commercials urging people to approve funding for stem-cell research. The radio demagogue said, "This is really shameless of Michael J Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting. This is the only time I've ever seen Michael J Fox portray any of the symptoms of the disease he has. He can barely control himself."

Memo to Rush Limbaugh: There is a fine line between being controversial and being downright offensive. I can see which side of the line you were on here. Should you continue to want to be on that side of the line, you may wish to spend some time reflecting on how well things turned out for you when you suggested that that Donovan McNabb would never be a great quarterback because he's black.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Tara Reid Unhappy with What's Left (Or Maybe It's Her Left One, I Don't Know)

Tara Reid recently decided to let the world know that she was unhappy with how her body has turned out after having plastic surgery. She claims that her breast augmentation has left her nipples looking like "goose-shaped eggs," and that after she got liposuction, she got these bumps... like little golf balls all over my stomach, and it hurt."

While I feel for the actress's pain, I can't imagine what a "goose-shaped egg" would look like in real life, let alone in areola format. Is that an egg shaped like a goose? I guess we'll have to wait until her dress falls off again for conclusive proof.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Jesse L. Martin Robbed (Dunh, dunh)

Jesse L. Martin, who plays detective Ed Green on "Law and Order," was recently robbed when he returned to his move town to shoot some scenes for an indie movie. The actor, who has lived in New York for twenty years and never been robbed there, had his car broken into and had his ipod, his luggage, and some signed pictures stolen.

That's really lame for you, Jesse. I hope that they can find the perp and bring him to justice. And by justice, I mean the interrogation room where you can hit him, and no one will be the wiser.

Link: Source.

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Ashlee Simpson Likes her Chest

Taking a play from her big sister's playbook, Ashlee Simpson has declared that she likes her breasts, and any rumors about her getting a boob job are completely unfounded. Says the singer, "You have to laugh because people make up the goofiest things. My boobs are beautiful! I'm not getting them done. I'm 22, they're up and high."

Sigh. Life's always rough for the ugly one, huh? She has to steal things her beautiful sister has said to make the news? Give me a break.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Tom and Katie Set a Date

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have announced that they will be tying the knot over the weekend of November 18th at a private ceremony in Italy. Giorgio Armani will be creating the dress that Katie will be wearing on her special day.

Congratulations to the couple.

Oh, and Katie, if you have any second thoughts, I am ready and willing to marry you myself.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Monday, October 23, 2006

Jessica Knew When It Was Over

Jessica Simpson had reported that she knew that her marriage to Nick Lachey was over when he declined to accompany her on a trip to Africa that would have coincided with their third anniversary. Says the singer, "That trip changed my life. On that day, everything became so clear. I was in hospitals with all these sick kids. I just knew I needed to find something more in my life, on my own."

I don't know, Jessica. No matter how hot you are, you're only going to find so many people who are willing to put up with the fact that you thought Chicken of the Sea brand tuna was actually chicken.

Links: Pic. Source.


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Ewan McGregor Offered Bond

It is reported that Casino Royale director Martin Campbell first offered the part of James Bond to Ewan McGregor. Ewan turned down the part for fear of being typecast in the future.

I don't know about you, but I would have been thoroughly intrigued by seeing McGregor as Bond. While I do understand that Bond movies aren't exactly high art, I really would have enjoyed him.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Thursday, October 19, 2006

Brad and Gwyneth Reunited

Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow will be reunited, on screen at least, in an upcoming movie called "Dirty Tricks," which will chronicle aspects of the Presidency of Richard Nixon. The former couple haven't been seen on screen together since their hit psycho-thriller "Se7en."

Ooh. What if he leaves Angelina for Gwyneth? Oh wait, this isn't 1997, so I don't care.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Jessica Simpson Likes to Watch

In a recent interview, Jessica Simpson revealed that, although she is more famous for being in front of the camera, she actually enjoys being behind it as well. The singer revealed that one possession that she couldn't live without is her camera, and that her favorite item at home is a black and white photo of Johnny Cash.

I wonder if she would be as successful behind the camera as she is in front of it? Probably, because people like to see ugly people on film while having the beautiful behind the cameras. Right.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Matthew NOT GAY

Matthew McConaughey made it a point to tell reporters that, although he had been spending a lot of shirtless time on beaches with Lance Armstrong, the two were not, in fact, a couple. He was quoted as saying, "A lot of people don't understand friendship and brotherhood. I have a great friend in him. I'd do anything he asked me to, even though he'd probably never ask me to, and he feels the same way."

So there you go. Just in case you were worried about this.

Which I know I was.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Catherine Zeta Jones May Be Jealous

Catherine Zeta Jones was very unhappy with some comments Michael Douglas made about other actresses in a promotional segment for his new movie, "The Sentinel." He claimed that he had a crush on Kim Basinger, and he thought that Eva Langoria had a "fantastic butt." Naturally, Catherine called him and gave her a piece of his mind, to which Douglas responded that he thought it would be good to keep up his bad-boy image.

Has anyone ever thought of Michael Douglas as a bad-boy? Am I just too young to remember it?

Links: Pic. Source.

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Carmen Electra Is Kind of Existential

The recently divorced Carmen Electra has revealed in an interview that she is currently not looking for a new man. She was quoted as saying, "I'm not looking. I just want to be alone for a while. But it's scary you know? And you feel lonely, you want to grab onto something, but then you're not really dealing with the experience. You're just looking for a distraction. I want to feel the experience."

And here I thought that I had a shot now that she had separated from her rock star husband. It's all right, I'll let her feel lonely for a while, and then I'll swoop in for the kill, and by swoop in for the kill, I mean, of course, watch Baywatch reruns.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Monday, October 16, 2006

Lindsay Lohan to Do Lesbian Scene

In an upcoming movie about poet Dylan Thomas (the poet who wrote about raging against the dying of the light), Lindsay Lohan is set to be in a relationship that has lesbian undertones with Keira Knightley.

Mmm. That's gonna be some hot skeleton on skeleton action!

Link: Source.

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Christina Aguilera Is Classy

Christina Aguilera was recently stuck with a hard decision on her hands. During one of her concerts, while briefly off stage, she had to both use the restroom and change clothes. How did she decide to do these things, you ask? Well, while she was completely naked in front of her entire backstage crew, she peed into a bucket. She said that she didn't feel badly about doing it, because she is proud of her naked body.

I'm pretty sure that this news is going to make some pervert's day.

Link: Source.

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Jenn Says They're Still Together

Jennifer Aniston revealed to Oprah on a taping of her show last week that she and actor Vince Vaughn were still very much an item, despite reports last week to the contrary. This is according to studio audience members who were eager to speak with the media after the taping.

Sigh. Well, I guess if I can't have her, at least Vince Vaughn can. You win this round, VV, but I've got the next one.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Scarlett Johansson Wants to Be Naked

Unlike Jessica Alba, who has well publicized the fact that she won't strip on-screen, Scarlett Johansson was, at least on the set of that wretched abortion of a movie The Island, furious that she wasn't allowed to. After the director, Michael Bay, said that she couldn't take her top off because the movie was to be rated PG-13, the actress was incredibly angry.

Maybe the movie would have done better if she had been topless. Oh, and if it wasn't a rip off of that other movie, it might have done better then too.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Donald Trump Doesn't Like Angelina

Donald Trump recently said that he doesn't understand why so many men are attracted to Angelina Jolie. He was quoted as saying, "She is not even that attractive. I think he's (Brad Pitt) a smart guy for narrowly dodging the marriage issue. I'm not a fan of hers as you probably noticed."

I'm going to go out on a relatively short and secure limb and suggest that Angelina probably doesn't think you're very attractive either. Further, she thinks that your warrantless attacks are nothing more than an attempt at personal publicity.

Oh wait, that's just what I think.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Lindsay Lohan Will Tell You When She's Had Enough, Thanks

Lindsay Lohan has said that she is tired of people always telling her that she parties too much, and that that matter is up to either her or her mother to decide. She also says that she is an absolute angel in comparison with some of her friends.

Wow. I had no idea that she was friends with Robert Downey Jr, Jim Morrison, and Janis Joplin. Good for her.

Links: Pic. Source.

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Scarlett Johansson Not Apt to Sleep Around

Scarlett Johansson made it a point to let reporters know that while she doesn't consider herself promiscuous, she makes sure that she gets tested for HIV twice a year. She says that this is just part of being a decent human being.

Uhm, Scarlett. I'm pretty sure that if you're not promiscuous, you don't really stand much chance of picking up HIV. I could be wrong, but I think that you have to be sexually active to pick up an STD.

Link: Source.

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